“Perception is Reality;” I was frustrated the first time I heard this quote. My manager was sitting down to talk to me about some negative feedback about my teamwork and attitude. It didn’t feel good because that negative feedback came from people that didn’t understand my intention. I have a strong work ethic, and I wanted what was best for the work. However, I sometimes forgot to consider other’s feelings and goals in my communications and comments with my peers. I wanted them to have empathy and understanding for me, but I wasn’t reciprocating.
This was a big revelation for me: that reciprocity of empathy. Here are some thought starters to think of others and some self-reflection for you.
- What are their big motivators/goals?
- Do they understand how their work contributes to the bigger goals?
- How do they feel about work currently/in the future?
- What can they do to make the team/work/process better? Do they have ideas they want to share?
- Have you clearly articulated the bigger picture/big goals?
- Have you shared their purpose beyond their tasks? Can you help them see how their actions are contributions to the big goals? Are you acknowledging and celebrating those contributions?
- Are you using the appropriate tone and language when giving direction/sharing the plan?
- Are you allowing for time and space in conversations and relationships for others to share ideas/suggestions?
- Are you acting in ways that support the culture you want: high-performing, collaborative, efficient, autonomous, effective, fun?
Be sure you are aligning your actions to your aspirations. Empathy can be a significant factor in improving your professional reputation. How do you want people to describe your professional reputation? Are your actions supporting that reputation? What’s missing? What can you improve? We are all evolving to be better peers, managers, and leaders. Keep working at it!